Confessions From an Imperfect Mom

(Photo courtesy of energydotsblog.com)

It had to happen eventually.

I messed up.

The doctor and nurses told me it wouldn't always be perfect.

And they were right.

This morning I was preparing Sawyer's breakfast. I went to write his carbs into the log book and there it was...a big blank space where I should have logged his lantus insulin from the previous evening.

Did his dad give him his medicine?

No, he was out at the time we usually administer his shot.

Did I give it to him?

I had no memory of it. 

I asked Sawyer if we had given him his lantus the night before. He thought about it a few seconds and said, "No."

How could I do that? 

I felt like a horrible mom.

 What it actually proved was that I am not perfect. No matter how hard I try to give Sawyer the best care, there are times I will mess up.

I asked myself how I could let this happen. 

Could it be because I have so many meds to administer in a day between Sawyer and me, that I just got confused? Overwhelmed?

Could it be the hectic schedule I've kept lately?

Maybe school work and end of the term stress?

Or maybe it's the lack of respite from caring for Sawyer and his needs. 

Ah, I have it. It's the vacation I haven't had in almost ten years. 

Whatever the cause, after speaking with Sawyer's pediatric nurse, she said "It just won't ever be perfect. It happens. He's fine. Don't beat yourself up over it." 

*Breathing a sigh of relief*

I see Sawyer as someone who needs me to be his superhero; perfect, flawless, and never let him down.

And yet, I did. 

By the way, Sawyer's numbers were fine. The nurse told me that because his blood sugar has been under control for some time now, it wouldn't have an impact on him. If it had been at the onset, then it would have been different. 

(Photo courtesy of anothercookieplease.com)

Try as we might, perfection isn't the definition of a mother.

Love is. 

And maybe exhaustion at times. 

One Small Step For Our Children

Many of you may remember my sad story about the twelve-year-old girl who was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes*. I thought, “If only this girl had been tested, maybe she would have been spared the complications from which she now suffers.”

photo courtesy of kaboodle.com

Moved to act, I wrote a letter to New York State Senator, Catharine Young, sharing the story of the young girl. I also shared the story of my seven-year-old son. Expressing concern for children that may be living with undetected diabetes, I suggested diabetes screening for school children. The test would be relatively inexpensive if test strips were used. 

Today I received a reply from Senator Young. In her letter, she shared with me that there is currently an Assembly bill that “would require a risk analysis and testing for diabetes for high risk youth, before entering 1st, 3rd, 7th, and 10th grades.”  The legislation is now before the Assembly Education Committee. 

photo courtesy of hertzfurniture.com

I did some research and found Assembly bill 1320 and read what it encompasses. The justification for the bill states, “Diabetes rates in New York State increased by more than 50% from 1994 to 2001. Most of this increase is in the form of Type 2 diabetes, which is related to obesity and lifestyle.”

The bill also states, “A recent Centers for Disease Control (CDC) study estimates that one in

three U.S. children born in 2000 will become diabetic in their lifetime unless this trend is reversed.”

  

While I’m glad to hear that the Senate is taking this epidemic seriously, I am concerned about a couple of things. 

How long before this bill is enacted? Here is the history of the bill to date:

LEGISLATIVE HISTORY:

2004 - A.9176 2005-2006 -  A.2167-A Referred to Education

2007/08 - A3826a - Amend and Recommit to education

2009/10 - A5701 - Referred to Education

This bill has been passed around since 2004. It’s time to stop playing politics with our children and get this done. Obviously, someone was smart enough to see diabetes as an increasing problem or they never would have written this bill. 

Another concern.

 This bill focuses quite a bit on Type 2 diabetes. Children will be singled out based on ethnicity and weight. If a child is in the African-American or Hispanic category, they are at greater risk for  diabetes so they will be more closely monitored than their peers. This is also true of children that are obese. 

photo courtesy of hubpages.com

My son does not meet any of this criteria. At the time of his diagnosis, he weighed 56 pounds. He is also white. While he has a small amount of Native American heritage, that does not show up in his appearance. Would he have been monitored based on the predetermined criteria? 

Perhaps if a family history was provided.

Oops, no history of juvenile diabetes on either side of his family. There is a history of Type 2, or adult onset diabetes, but would this have set off any warning bells?

Overall, I am happy that this bill may be enacted into law. 

I would ask everyone reading this to prayerfully consider supporting this law and contact your local Senator. 

A copy of Assembly bill AO1320 can be read here:

http://assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?default_fld=&bn=A01320&term=2011&Summary=Y&Actions=Y&Votes=Y&Memo=Y&Text=Y

photo courtesy of medheadlines.com

Diabetes can be controlled if it is caught in time. Children at high risk can get the help they need to avoid Type 2 diabetes. We can arm these children with information on healthy eating and exercise. Furthermore, children who may already have Juvenile diabetes, without showing any symptoms, could get treatment as soon as possible.

A list of Senators and contact information can be found here: http://www.nysenate.gov/senators

Officials don’t know what we are thinking if we don’t share our thoughts with them. 

photo courtesy of ammoland.com

“It is the input of New York’s citizens that brings about positive changes.” - Catharine M. Young, Senator, 57th District

*Blog Post I Heard a Sad Story the Other Day

First Follow-Up

The First Follow-Up

What to expect at the first endocrinologist appointment after diagnosis

photo courtesy of wearechildrens.org

Leaving on Time

9:00 am on a Tuesday 

It seemed like we were cutting it a little close. We had about an hour and a half drive into the city to the children’s endocrinologist and my husband thought we had plenty of time to get there. I am the type of person who likes to leave early to allow for construction, traffic tie-ups, etc. Not my fly-by-the-seat-of-the-pants husband. The appointment was at 10:30 and we had never been to the doctor’s office before. If there was even one delay....but he was driving. So okay, I packed up what we needed for a short day trip and out the door we went.

10:30 am

So, we must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Looking at the Google maps, we should have gone east. How could I have known the map read backwards and we actually needed to turn west. This wasn't going well. I knew we should have left earlier. I made a call to the doctor's office and let them know we were a bit lost, but would be there as soon as possible. I hate being late. This wasn't a very good first impression.

Photo courtesy of cchealth.org

10:45 am

We arrived at the address on the cute little fridge magnet the doctor gave us while Sawyer was in the hospital. Standing outside the hospital entrance, Sawyer and I waited while his dad drove around looking for a parking space. Around and around the block he went, shrugging at us as he drove by. I decided we better get inside and dad could catch up with us later.

10:50 am

After going in the wrong entrance and having a security guard show us where we needed to go, (which was in an adjacent building) we arrived at the doctor's office. Out of breath and frazzled, I apologized profusely to the receptionist for being late. She handed me a clipboard with a stack of papers to fill out. I juggled the clipboard, my purse, and a tote with Sawyer's supplies, while trying to keep track of Sawyer. He also has ADHD/ODD. It wasn't easy and I'm sure I looked like a maniac to the others in the waiting room.

10:55 am 

Sawyer and I followed a nurse into a room where they checked his blood sugar and other vitals. My cell phone was ringing and dinging with text messages and calls from Sawyer's dad. I guess I couldn't balance the phone on top of everything else. I told the nurse I had to go find my husband since he didn't understand my directions from the text. She said Sawyer would be fine. She'd watch him. I left for 10 seconds, then went back when I saw Sawyer's dad found us. The nurse was gone. She left my ADHD son alone and he was also gone. GRR! I found him outside the door playing hide and seek from the nurse. 

photo courtesy of metroparent.com

This day was just not going well

11:05 am

The nurse connected Sawyer's glucose meter  to a computer and downloaded all of his numbers since his last visit. It's pretty amazing how far the technology has come for people with diabetes. The nurse was able to print a graph of Sawyer's numbers and track the trends - where were the numbers high, low, were they trending higher in the morning - things like that.

11:10 am

Be prepared with your child's glucose meter as well as his/her log book. Before we saw the doctor, we were given another clipboard with a stack of papers to fill out. Information such as blood glucose for the last week, insulin doses, and so much more was asked for. I'd advise anyone going to their endocrinologist appointment to bring the log book. I didn't know all of the numbers off the top of my head exactly, but I had a general idea. 

11:20 am

A representative from a research study spoke to us while we waited for the doctor. She wanted to know if we'd be interested in participating in a study about type-one diabetes. Researchers are close to a vaccine for juvenile diabetes, and data is being gathered to help with their research. She said we'd even get a $10 gift card for filling it out.

Wait a minute. I filled that long survey out and mailed it back. Where's my gift card?

Anyways, it was well worth the time if it will help researchers find a cure for this disease.

photo courtesy of lebonheur.org

11:25 am

By now, Sawyer was bouncing off the walls; literally. He was standing on the examining table, dancing on the white tissue paper and ripping it to shreds with his sneakers. He was pulling on the ear/nose/throat equipment, making a general racket, and I had a red forehead from rubbing my head non-stop. There was no reasoning with him. His father and I  tried to talk to the doctor over his noise and I was impressed with her calmness. She looked at Sawyer and then to my husband and I before saying, "I think you may want to see about getting him something for that."

 Indeed.

In Conclusion

Overall, the visit went well. Sawyer got a thumbs up from the doctor. She gave his parents props for a job well done, also. 

Phew. Through all the mayhem, we did something right.

photo courtesy of co.madison.tn.us

Tips

If you are going to an endocrinologist appointment, or any specialist for that matter, remember first and foremost to leave a little bit early. Allow time for wrong turns. It will save stress later; especially if your child has trouble sitting still in the examining room. Also, bring all the information you have - log books, journal entries, meal diaries, glucose meter, and something for a headache. 

It ain't pretty and it ain't perfect but we made it and so will you!!

photo courtesy of theexecutivebrand.com

King of the House

*photo courtesy of wii.ign.com*

Sawyer has been coping with juvenile diabetes pretty well; especially for a seven-year-old with ADHD. He's dealing better than a lot of adults would in a similar situation, myself included. 

In fact, just last week, Sawyer learned to give himself his own shot. There is a process involved, which includes counting his carbs, figuring out his carb-to-insulin ratio, then adding in a correction for his blood glucose if needed. I did all of that. He hasn't learned multiplication and division yet in the first grade -  a skill needed to figure his ratio and correction.

After the dose was calculated, I taught him to prime his needle and made sure the medicine was ready to go. He then dialed up his dose, uncapped his needle, and gave himself a shot in the thigh. 

Did I mention he is only seven-years-old? 

I found that pretty impressive. The little guy has to have four shots a day. Yikes! That's a lot of pokes. Think of your trip to the pediatrician for one of your children's vaccines. If you've had the same experience as I, you probably witnessed tears...lots of tears. I think Sawyer is pretty amazing and brave to give himself a poke with a needle.

*photo courtesy of 123rf.com*

Sawyer will have to manage his condition for the rest of his life. It's important that he gets involved in his regimen. What if nobody is there to help him? Life happens and he should be prepared and in charge of his treatment. This gives him some sense of control and empowerment over a disease that tries to control him. 

*photo courtesy of www2.nestle.com.my*

The site of injection determines the speed in which the insulin begins working. A shot in the abdomen will begin working the fastest. The arm is the second quickest site, then the thighs, and finally the rear. It is also important to rotate where an injection is given to prevent hardening under the skins surface. 

*photo courtesy of best-motivations-articles.com*

So, I guess this makes Sawyer the self-proclaimed "king of the house." 

He was crowned about a month in to his diagnosis. Everything revolved around Sawyer and his treatment. We were watching everything he ate, counting all the carbs - and I can tell you, some of them were not easy to locate - checking his blood sugars four to six times a day, (including a three a.m. check), and constant monitoring for hypoglycemic reactions. This must have made him feel pretty special because one day, while eating his lunch, he said rather indignantly, "Where is my fork?" 

I said, "Did I forget your fork? I'm sorry."

Sawyer said, "You have to give me a fork. I am the king of the house. I do have diabetes, you know."

I told him, "You are capable of getting your own fork. You know where we keep them."

*photo courtesy of yourfunnypics.com*

I imagine all that special treatment would make anybody feel like a king. While Sawyer is not the king of the house, he is the king of his diabetes. 

Is the Honeymoon Over?

*Photo courtesy of weddingdresses2u.org

The doctors and diabetic nurse told us this would happen.

Unfortunately, it is happening sooner rather than later.

All honeymoons come to an end and it seems Sawyer has reached this point in his journey.

It began slowly, with little jumps in his blood sugar. Nothing alarming, but I reported this to his doctor. At first, no adjustments were made because this could simply be a glitch in our perfectly laid plan. 

Then the morning glucose readings jumped dramatically from 90-130 to a shocking 200.  We were told not to be alarmed. As long as the ketones were negative, he was fine.

Ketone testing is crucial for a diabetic. This is a topic for another blog, but in brief, high ketones = a trip to the emergency room. 

Sawyer's ketones have been negative, yet we're still concerned with his increasing blood glucose levels. Consistently, they've increased. The doctor raised his dose of Lantus by a single unit, yet his morning blood sugars appeared unaffected.

*Photo courtesy of harstinehouse.com*

I checked the pen, the needle, and primed the pen above and beyond what was recommended. The pen was fine and his blood sugar continued to rise.

I have confidence that Sawyer's doctor knows what she's doing. This is what she has done for years - treated children with type one diabetes.

That doesn't make the wait any easier.

With an increase in his dose, his glucose levels continue to rise. Sawyer is now exhibiting symptoms of hyperglycemia; tired, napping, and making more trips to the bathroom.

*Photo courtesy of healthylifestyle.com*

I made a call to the doctor today and told her that something drastic needs to be done now. 

Understandably, the doctor is concerned with hypoglycemia, a very serious complication associated with low blood sugar. I'm concerned about complications associated with high blood sugar. 

*Photo courtesy of livinggoodhealth.info*

The doctor's office returned my call and told me to raise his  Lantus dose starting tonight.

It's a waiting game now. I'm sad to see his "honeymoon phase" come to an end so soon after diagnosis only two months ago. The nurse told me that it did seem to be coming to an end sooner than she'd expected. Considering he was at only one unit a night, and doing so well, this throws us back a bit. 

The best we can do is keep on top of the situation and remain in close contact with Sawyer's doctor. 

I Heard a Sad Story the Other Day...

*Photo courtesy of 123rf.com*

My purpose for starting this blog was to inform, inspire, and encourage those affected by diabetes. This could be you or someone you love. 

The simple fact is diabetes affects 25.8 million people of ALL ages in the United States alone. Thats 8.3 percent of the population. Diagnosed cases in 2010 was 18.8 million people. Another 7.0 million people in our country are living with diabetes undiagnosed.

About 1.9 million people ages 20 years or older were newly diagnosed with diabetes in 2010 in the United States.

Furthermore, 

• Diabetes is the leading cause of kidney failure, nontraumatic lower-limb amputations, and new cases of blindness among adults in the United States.
• Diabetes is a major cause of heart disease and stroke.
• Diabetes is the seventh leading cause of death in the United States.
• About 215,000 people younger than 20 years had diabetes - type 1 or type 2 - in the United States in 2010.

(Information obtained by the National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse)

Wow. I need a moment to wrap my head around those figures.

*Photo courtesy of Scottcounseling.com*

Those statistics give me reason to pause and wonder what is going on? Is something in our food causing this epidemic rate of diabetes? Obviously, obesity is not the only reason a person gets diabetes. 

My son was 7 years old and weighed 54 pounds when he was diagnosed.

So, now for my sobering story.

Someone was asking me how my son was doing since his diagnosis with juvenile diabetes. She then told me about a mom she'd recently spoken to whose 12-year-old daughter has been in the hospital for two weeks. She was just diagnosed with diabetes. 

She had a wound that wasn't healing and was badly infected. When she went to the hospital, she found it was far worse than a bad infection.

She had advanced diabetes. 

Her mother, raising four children on her own, had no idea her daughter was so sick. If someone hasn't grown up with a family history of diabetes, the symptoms can be easily overlooked.

She reported that her daughter was tired a lot, but she would attend school regularly, come home and go to sleep. She was also thirsty a lot. 

Why would anyone suspect that their 12-year-old daughter had diabetes if there is no family history of it?

Having had a diabetic grandmother, father, and best friend; along with myself recently being diagnosed, I had my diabetic radar on at full throttle. The symptoms my son exhibited were familiar to me and I was fortunate enough to catch it in time.

But what is the prognosis for this young girl whose diabetes has gone on for an undetermined amount of time?

She has a colostomy bag that she will have for the rest of her life. I do not know what other complications she has, but I was told that her attitude is good and she is taking an active part in her care and treatment.

My thoughts are these; with diabetes racing to the top of the charts for death and complications, we all need to take a more active role in combating this disease. Diabetes is SERIOUS and the complications numerous and irreversible. It is also a random attacker and the person afflicted is NOT TO BLAME! Believe me, I've heard people say that people with diabetes should pay higher insurance rates. Their reasoning was it's their fault for obesity. They were upset that the insurance rates of smokers was on the rise. This was their justification for their statement.

Listen up!

Smoking is a choice, diabetes is not!

So, why not do something proactive. How about yearly school screenings for diabetes. What can it cost to do a dip-stick test on a child? Pennies a piece? I'd vote yes for my tax dollars to be spent on this inexpensive testing. If it saves one child, it is money well spent. 

    *photo courtesy of whaddyagot.com *                                                                                                      

I'm not trying to cause a public panic, but perhaps we do need a wake up call.  Better education is needed to alert people about this disease. If I've learned anything about diabetes the past few years, it's that ignorance abounds when it comes to the topic - even among medical professionals.

I visited my endocrinologist last week. She said that the doctor had just returned from a conference on diabetes at Cleveland Clinic. They shared that diabetes is becoming so prevalent, more research is being done. Physicians and researchers are taking notice.

So should we.

Please. I cannot emphasis this enough. Watch for symptoms of diabetes. They include; extreme thirst, frequent urination, dry skin, blurred vision, hunger - yet no weight gain, and a wound that won't heal. 

(This list reflects only a few of the symptoms)

*photo courtesy of mamabliss.blogspot.com*